Uninvited Guest

Now, as a single girl I need to be careful about about who I invite into my bedroom. I need to be even more choosy about who I allow into my bed. Last night I was not given a choice in either decision. I was laying in bed, reading a book when I hear a rustling sound and a shadow passes in front of my reading light. I look up to see a gianormous cockroach climbing up my headboard. Naturally I do what anyone in my position might do... I screamed like a little girl while hurling myself out of bed to the opposite side of the room.

Now what?

It was almost 2 in the morning and I was the only one awake. Not to mention my cousin and her very adorable little baby girl were asleep in the room next door. So now I have two problems. I have to get rid of my unwanted visitor and be quiet about it too.
I began by taking the largest book in my room ( a two inch thick medical book...don't ask) and trying to knock my guest onto the floor to squish it.....I knock it down, it proceeds to spasm and disappear under my bed.

Now what?

I can't find the intruder, but I can't go to sleep because I know as soon as I close my eyes this behemoth cockroach will climb up my headboard again and walk across my face. So, I go back to reading...always ready with the medical book close by. So twenty minutes pass and my guest is climbing up the same spot on my headboard again. I squeal, this time much more quietly and knock the roach to the floor. He disappears from sight, and I know it will be a long night.
I read some more and see something out of the corner of my eye. The little bugger is trying to make a break for the bathroom and I am ready. I begin attacking the roach with my book, but everytime I do this it sinks into the carpet and when I lift the book this pest runs towards me making me scream again and jump back in panic. After four or five attempts at squish and run, my uninvited guest makes his fatal mistake. He runs underneath a suitcase....I step on the suitcase...flattening the intruder and insuring a good nights sleep.

....until I lay in bed thinking about the fact that his family and friends are probably on their way to claim the body and exact revenge...

will I ever sleep again?